After years of contemplating a blog, I’m using my desire to document my upcoming cross-country road trip as reason to stop procrastinating and start writing! Journaling has always appealed to me more in theory than in practice, and I think it’s partially because hand writing my thoughts has always been time-consuming and handcramp-inducing. Typing is a little bit more friendly and faster, which increases the likelihood of my doing it consistently.
I’ve been researching blogging a bit, and there’s more to it than I realized, though I’m not quite sure if it needs to be so complicated. For example, WordPress recommends doing all of these exercises to find out what you want to write about, who your audience will be, how you will attract visitors, etc. I find this unsettling. Can’t i just write about whatever I want, whenever I want? I suppose I could, but now the idea of needing to “find a focus” (a skill that has consistently eluded me) has me all flustered. If I don’t pick a focus is my blog doomed to be an incohesive, uninteresting failure? Probably not, but even as I read over what I’ve just written it feels unfocused, and I’m only on the second paragraph of my blogging career. So now I’m thinking that it might be a worthwhile endeavor to explore this inability to focus that has afflicted me for many years. This could be an opportunity to take the time to wade through all of my interests and dive deeper into those that that are closest to my heart.
I was thinking recently that I know a little about a lot of things, but I don’t know a lot about very much. I’ve always put myself into the group of people that can be defined by the phrase: “jack of all trades, master of none”, and in this way I’ve possibly set limits on my own potential. It occurs to me that this categorization might be my way of comforting myself that I haven’t yet found “my thing”, at the same time as it absolves me of having to work really hard at anything.
I am about to embark on a cross-country road trip for a month; something that I have wanted to do for as long as I can remember. I hope to use this time to relax; see the country; enjoy friends, new and old; and practice being present in each moment. As I’ve been writing this first blog, though, I am inspired to add an underlying focus to my trip: to contemplate my life’s passions and intentionally focus my energy into a specific few. So there. That is going to be the focus of my blog, at least for the next month or so. I acknowledge that having my focus be “finding a focus” is kind of a cop out. I also see that there might be a danger of this focus being too vague or broad, but part of me likes that because it allows me the freedom to still write about whatever I want under the guise of “I need to explore this topic to see if I want to focus on it”. Maybe it’s just the rebellious side of me saying “if you insist on trying to force me into a little box I will do everything I can to secretly maintain my freedom while acting like I’m complying”. Most likely I’m reading too deeply into this whole “pick a focus” thing, a tendency of mine with which I am also quite familiar. Regardless, I feel pretty good about finishing my first blog post, however unfocused it may be.